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-Social Skills                                       Reset Score

For every item in each of the tests choose one answer by circling option A, B or C. Remember, in the cause of accuracy of assessment, you should circle the action closest to what you would do, or have been doing. Do not opt for what you now think is the best or most admirable thing to do. After all, to want to put yourself in the most favourable light is hardly an emotionally intelligent way of responding. A key is provided at the end of the tests, which will enable you to score your answers.


Test 1

  1. You suspect that someone close to you is unhappy about something you have done, but when you ask how he or she felt about it, the person simply said 'OK'. How do you respond?
    Take what was said at face value - that everything really is OK.
    Wait until you think the time is right and then encourage the person to open up and       talk about how he or she truly feels.
    Assume that the person would rather not talk to you about it - respect the 'right to       silence' on this matter.

  2. You arrive at a party and contrary to your expectations you find that you know very few people. How do you respond?
    Head straight for the few people you know in the hope that they'll introduce you to       some of the other guests.
    Let your host and your friends know that you have arrived, and then 'take the plunge'       by introducing yourself to some of the other guests.
    Stay for a little while, making sure that you at least talk to your host.

  3. It is some time since you had any contact with one of your friends. How do you respond?
    Take the initiative and get in touch with the friend to ask how he or she is getting on.
    Reason that, like you, the person has probably been busy and will get in touch with you       in his or her own good time.
    Assume that the person has found new friends and don't expect to hear from him or       her.

  4. You are introduced to someone who seems to be nervous and hesitant about engaging in conversation. How do you respond?
    Pretend to listen and take an interest in what the person is trying to say before moving       off to talk to somebody else.
    Listen carefully to what the person is saying, don't interrupt and when you do speak,       try to respond positively to what the person has said.
    Take advantage of the first pause in the conversation to start talking yourself.

  5. You have just made friends with someone who is new to the area in which you live. How do you respond?
    Introduce the person to your friends, but only when you are forced to do so.
    Use every opportunity to introduce the person to your network of friends and social       contacts.
    Allow the person to settle in and to develop other friendships him- or herself.
  6. A friend has run into a serious problem and is in urgent need of your help. To offer that help would cause you a great deal of inconvenience. How do you respond?
    Agree to help, but only if no one else can be found.
    Recognize the seriousness of the person's predicament and offer your support.
    Point out the inconvenience it would cause you and suggest that the person tries       someone else.
    		7.

Test 2

  1. You are in conversation with someone who is trying to explain something to you but is taking a long time about it and you have important things to do. How do you respond?
    Make any excuse you can think of to bring the conversation to an end.
    Explain to the person that you have pressing things to do and ask him or her to sum up       the main points in the argument.
    Say nothing, but make a point of looking at your watch.

  2. A colleague is talking to you about a complex issue, but you are having difficulty in concentrating on what they are saying. How do you respond?
    Try to give the impression that you are listening and wait until the ordeal is over.
    Suppress a yawn, say that you are very tired, and ask if you can talk about it some       other time.
    Keep asking questions until you have developed an under standing of what the person       is saying.
  3. You are in conversation with someone and your eyes seem to be telling you something different from what your ears are hearing. How do you respond?
    Say as politely as you can that you are unclear about what is being said and seek       clarification about the matters that concern you.
    Treat with suspicion what is being said but make a mental note to check it out later.
    Shrug off your doubts and take what is being said at its face value.

  4. You have left a series of messages on a person's answer phone saying that you need to speak urgently; but he or she has not returned your calls. How do you respond?
    Check up to see if anyone knows why the person might not be responding to your       calls, and if there doesn't seem to be a problem, try again.
    Leave another message on the answerphone voicing your frustration.
    Try to contact the person again, but this time using as many different methods as are       available to you.
  5. You are talking to someone over the 'phone and you detect from the pauses and tone of voice that the person you are speaking to may be deliberately holding something back. How do you respond?
    Let the person know that you think that he or she is trying to deceive you.
    Distrust what was said and try to find out from other sources what the person might       have been holding back.
    Sum up what you think the person has said and ask directly if there is anything else he       or she wants to tell you or that you should know.

  6. A newcomer to your group is having difficulty under standing its 'jargon' and 'in-jokes'. How do you respond?
    Carry on as usual - it's up to the newcomer to adapt to the group and not the other       way about.
    Correct the newcomer's misunderstandings whenever they occur.
    Find time to explain some of the 'jargon' and 'in-jokes' to the newcomer and encourage       others to do the same.

Test 3

  1. You begin to sense that too many jokes are being made at the expense of a good-natured member of your team, and that the person concerned has had enough of being treated in this way. How do you respond?
    Have a quiet word with each of your colleagues to voice your concerns over the way       they are treating their teammate and suggest that they change their behaviour.
    Try to deflect the humour away from the person concerned towards other members of       the team.
    Do nothing - wait for the other members of the team to get the message and stop       what they are doing.
  2. A number of minor setbacks in quick succession have left everyone in your team feeling depressed and dispirited. How do you respond?
    Keep smiling, adopt a positive and optimistic attitude, and try to get your team-mates       to put the setbacks into perspective.
    Give the team a 'good talking to' by telling them to grow up and pull themselves       together.
    Do nothing - just wait for everybody to get over it in his or her own good time.

  3. Members of your group normally get on with each other extremely well, then suddenly they start to bicker among themselves for no apparent reason. How do you respond?
    Encourage people to bring their 'hidden agendas' out into the open in an attempt to       clear the air and get relationships back to normal.
    Join in the bickering - take advantage of the opportunity to get a few things off your       chest about one or two of your colleagues.
    Try to avoid making matters worse - keep yourself to yourself and when you do speak       take care not to give people any ammunition they can use against you.

  4. You have had a team meeting and everyone has agreed to do things in the same way. Two people in the team then proceed to ignore the decision and 'do their own thing'. How do you respond?
    Allow the rest of the team some time to put pressure on them to conform.
    Confront them with the evidence and question their integrity.
    Request a meeting at which the matter and its implications are discussed by the whole       team.

  5. A normally reliable member of your team arrives late and is clearly agitated over something. How do you respond?
    Allow the incident to pass without comment.
    Demand an immediate apology to the rest of the team followed by an explanation.
    Ask if the person needs some time to him- or herself and offer your support if it is       needed.

  6. A member of your group is a perfectionist who worries about small things. He or she has refused all offers of help to get an urgent job done on time. How do you respond?
    Remind the person of the consequences of continuing to refuse offers of help and ask       how he or she proposes to get the job done on time.
    Tell the person that he or she is letting the group down by refusing offers of help.
    Get the group together, including the person concerned, to agree the best course of       action.